Like the deceit of "The Good Place", am I actually in hell?

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"Trapped in a Body's Cruel Grasp"

My body, a prison, a violent home
Where pain and fatigue, their torment reigns strong
Beating me down, with every step and every fall
Leaving bruises on my soul, and scars that never heal at all

I try to rise, to shine, to let my talents soar
But my body, the perpetrator, knocks me to the floor
It gaslights me, a master manipulator, making me doubt my own mind
"You're fine, you're strong, just push through, leave your weakness behind"

But the pain, a relentless drumbeat, wears me down
A constant reminder, I'm trapped in this body's cruel town
I search for escape, a way to break free
But my body, the jailer, holds me captive, relentlessly

I believe in equality, in justice, and in rights
In dismantling systems of abuse, and shining light on darkest nights
But I'm trapped in my own hell, a victim of my own flesh
A hypocrite, who preaches freedom, but can't escape my own mess

In this domestic war, I'm the child, cowering in fear
My body, the authoritarian, wielding power, and holding me dear
It's a cruel irony, that I, who advocate for the oppressed
Am myself, a prisoner, of my own body's cruel caress

Sometimes death seems peaceful, a refuge from the pain
A way to escape the torment, and the constant, nagging strain
But still I hold on, to hope's thin thread
And pray that someday, I'll find a way to escape this living dread

So I'll rise, I'll shine, I'll find a way to be
A survivor, a warrior, who's learned to live with this cruel body's tyranny.

Signed with exhaustipation, 
Lerato Lilly

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