The After Effects of Patriachy

I am deeply saddened as a woman by media enticing us to act a certain way in order to coherse rich men into our lives. Nobody wants to live in poverty but we cannot look down on our fellow good men because they cannot provide those "riches". I acknowledge my financial privilege and I admit that I don't know the depths of extreme poverty but my morality cannot allow me to witness such injustices on both the men and women. I also have to admit that we are at a disadvantage as black people since the poverty gap is so high and reaching the upper part of the spectrum is a mountain climb but both parties have to work to eradicate this poverty gap together.

The soft life we are all striving for should not be at the cost of selling our dignity in all ways not only sexually. As much as we are 'modern' women, we cannot adopt backward practices to satiate our hunger, not after so much fight. I do not have a solution on how we can attain financial freedom as yet but we can work together to find a way. My heart does not allow me to succumb to such oppression whether we see it or not. I've witnessed how in the past women were treated as sub-human and it breaks my heart. An Iranian patriarchal governing faction (in this day and age) has labeled women equal to livestock, animals. According to them we are property to serve their needs and wants, our rights are irrelevant since we are equated to mere animals. Sadly a lot of men carry this notion in mind. 

What I can say for myself is that I will work towards attaining financial freedom so that bigots and mysoginists won't accuse me of being a leech and justifying their heinous behaviour towards women as them asking for it (for example the Dubai potter potty debacle). The only way we can attain freedom as women is to unshackle from the clutches of such men by embracing our feminism. We also need to do better as women of a "woke" generation by choosing ourselves. Me judging is not justified, we need to get our bread and butter any how we can. I just don't want us to do acts that degrade us in the process. 

I can say a very small percentage of modern feminism as in most systems has some roots in patriarchy. As women we have internalised patriarchy, mysogyny and bigotry. Some things we say and do towards other women indicate so. An example would be judging slay queens labeling them as leeches because the outwardly express and flaunt their sexuality. We unconsciously do that as women because men cannot stand women who can command the attention of other men, it's a control issue for them, they want to control women. That's a sign of internalised patriarchy. According to them (mysogynists) we are supposed to dress modestly, also, because we have to protect ourselves from men's desires because some may eventually hurt us - that's the culture we live in, women have to be kept in check. Men should be taught to respect women regardless of what they're wearing, even so, modestly dressed women still get raped. Even traditions and some religions post and during colonisation are rooted in patriarchy unlike Ancient Africa where the societies were matriachal or mostly egalitarian. I believe matriachies are rooted in love, women physically show love towards each other and are more prone to take care of their mental health and it is kind of a norm. We are an embracing gender while current culture has made it taboo for men. How we think and carry ourselves as women is somewhat rooted in patriarchy, it is indoctrinated within our subconscious minds and taught generation to generation. 

Men also suffer in the hands of patriarchy. They are told that "men don't cry, men have to be strong", and this creates men who suffer with mental illness, anger issues and mysoginistic tendancies because they cannot express their feelings and do not know how. They in turn take out their frustrations on women, it's a vicious cycle. They are taught to subjugate women instead of protecting her as she is the vessel that brings life into this earth. Patriarchy teaches them to internalise their emotions and be physically dominant. This results in toxic musculinity. As women are taught that men who show a balance in musculine and feminine energies are too sissy, they have been conditioned to accept toxic musculinity since all is rooted in patriarchy and they don't know any better. We are all victims of patriarchy, more so for women. An egalitarian society would do us better. 

An example of an egalitarian marriage or partnership, equality means both women and men share responsibilites equally and there's also equal level of respect. A woman should not be burdened with taking care of a home and children all alone. There needs to be a balance. A balance in both faminine an musculine energies in both genders. We need to enlighten ourselves and unlearn toxic traits, we need to heal as a society.

Ultimate femininity is feeling safe with a partner and the opposite gender. 

Written by Lerato Lilly Shihambe, newly awakened activist

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