A New Era Has Began

 The Age of Aquarius - Self-actualisation

The gregorian calendar new year has began, it is January and most have promised themselves a new beginning. From my observation most people are beginning the journey of self-love and self acceptance. I have been going through this journey from 2022, and honestly it is quite difficult to execute in interpersonal relations. In theory I know self-love is cultivating a sense of authenticity within your environment, practicing healthy boundaries and choosing the right decisions for self even against societal standards. In practicality it is very difficult to practice self-love. When you are honest about your feelings, it agitates other people. For example, I told my partner that I hate his mother because of the physical and verbal abuse she inflicted on me, I guess it was insensitive to say that to him because after all I am showing disdain for the person who gave birth to him, in my defense he asked for honesty, and it was too hard for him to hear that the person he chose to love hates his mother. For me it's me processing my feelings, there is a tik toker named Chido who teaches emotional intelligence and she always reiterates that "there is no forgiveness without hate" which in my interpretation of that means that in order to heal from abuse, one must process all feelings and not gaslight themselves into forgiving prematurely because it will cause more trauma in the long run.

It is now the age of Aquarius, the age of truth, the age of decolonising from mental slavery and systems of oppression. It is the collective awakening, it is an enlightenment age. Many people are experiencing the effects of this timeline. They are actively working on breaking generational traumas and curses; self-actualisation. I will speak for myself as a young black woman; my generational trauma revolves around parental abandonment and neglect. Both my parents experienced neglect and abandonment in their family, they grew up with those wounds, and since the older generation does not believe in therapy - their wounds are projected in their parenting styles to my older brother and I, we experienced neglect and abandonment too. Although they were presenting physically, emotional neglect was present. 

As I have been on a spiritual journey of self actualisation, I realised my shadow side and angel side - I merged them together to fulfil my highest potential. I even realised the root of my traumas which is rooted in childhood emotional neglect which I blamed my parents for, but while in therapy have been advised to accept them as they are because they do not the necessary emotional intelligence I have been fortunate enough to receive in therapy. I have decided to forgive and accept them as they are. 

What is self actualisation? I asked AI and this is how it defined it with examples:

Self-actualisation is a fascinating concept in psychology that refers to the process of fulfilling one's true potential, becoming the best version of oneself, and achieving personal growth, meaning, and fulfilment in various aspects of life. It's about reaching the peak of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, where you transcend basic needs like survival and security, and move towards deeper motivations like creativity, self-expression, and understanding your purpose.

Here are some key aspects of self-actualisation:

It's an ongoing process, not a destination. It's about continuously growing, learning, and evolving throughout your life.

It's unique to each individual. What self-actualisation looks like for you will be different from what it looks like for someone else, depending on your values, passions, and goals.

It involves fulfilling multiple needs: Maslow's hierarchy suggests that you need to meet your basic needs for survival, safety, love, and esteem before you can focus on self-actualization. However, this doesn't mean these needs are entirely fulfilled before work on self-actualisation begins. It's more of a continuous interplay.

It often involves intrinsic motivation: Self-actualised people are driven by a desire to grow and reach their full potential, rather than external rewards like money or fame. It can manifest in many ways: From pursuing creative endeavours and living with purpose to having fulfilling relationships and experiencing peak moments of joy and awe.

Here are some examples of what self-actualisation might look like in action:

An artist dedicating their life to creating meaningful and expressive art.

A scientist relentlessly pursuing new knowledge and understanding of the universe.

A parent raising their children with love and compassion, helping them blossom into their full potential.

Someone overcoming personal challenges and finding strength and resilience within themselves.

In conclusion, this is the time to cultivate self-love by practicing healthy boundaries, identifying our generational traumas and rectifying them for future generations to attain peace and prosperity. As always I love you all.

Yours truly,

Lerato Lilly